Abuse and restoration: A non-violent approach

By Paige Lawrence

Editor's note: Mr. Lawrence sent his powerful story to RJ Online. His story is remarkable particularly because he did not have the assistance of restorative practitioners who could have helped him and his father in their initial conversations. Perpetrators or survivors who wish to make contact with the other should find a restorative facilitator to determine if such a meeting is advisable and to help both prepare.

My name is Paige Lawrence and I want to talk to you about reconciling abuse. Reconciliation is about making things whole again, about restoration.  

My experience was that the anger and the pain that sexual abuse caused in my family and my life was compromising my ability to accomplish the things I wanted for myself ten, fifteen, even twenty years after the actual abuse occurred.  

So, in my late twenties after trying spiritual counseling and psychotherapy to no avail, I tried contacting the sexual abuser who had started it all and talking to him directly.  

It was not easy, it was scary and it took a long time to develop the level of respect and trust that we needed to be able to speak plainly to one another; but we did it and I want to share some of what I learned from that experience with you.  

I am not a therapist and I am not a PhD, I’m just a guy who experienced sexual abuse first hand and I want very much to share with you what helped me.

Jan 26, 2010 Story, Case:Violence, Case:Sexual

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