Could you forgive this? Liz Securro's road to forgiveness
Apr 19, 2011
from the article by Heide Banks:
Liz Securro knows ﬁrst-hand the consequences of self-judgment and the rewards of self-forgiveness. In her recent book, "Crash Into Me: A Survivor's Search for Justice," Liz shares her story that spanned 20-plus years and stemmed from a rape she endured in college. You do not have to relate to the magnitude of her circumstances to be able to learn from her journey of self-forgiveness.
....It wasn't until she started dealing with the much deeper issues that she was able to regain herself. At some point it stopped for her. She took the clothes she had, and she burned them in a cemetery. She was tired of being the victim. What she realized was that although something was done to her, what she did to herself was far worse. She was judging herself for her behaviors. Her life really took hold when she was able to forgive herself for all those things that she did, which none of us would have ever judged her for.
....Not only was Liz raped, but she was blindsided. One spring day, 21 years after the assault, she received a letter in her mailbox from her rapist. He was making amends as part of a 12-step program for alcoholism, and he was asking her for forgiveness. Her initial thought was that she had forgiven him a long time ago. But had she really forgiven?
At the time of receiving the letter, she had one child, and she knew that she was making herself happy and joyful to be a good mother and raise a happy child. She knew she was faking it until she made it. She had this child that she had to be a great mother to, and she had a husband that she had to be a wife to, and she had a career that she had to be responsible to. She knew stuff was going on inside her and that there was still some healing to do. Her fate was to receive this letter when she was heading out on holiday. She was forced to deal with it. She sat on the letter for a while. As she found out more surprising details surrounding the rape, she knew that she couldn't let it go. Her state of Virginia did not have a statute of limitations on rape, so she sought legal action.