The night I forgave my daughter’s killer
Jul 11, 2011
from the article by Marietta Jaeger-Lane, as told to Lynsi Burton in Yes!
....I knew the kidnapper could be liable for the death penalty, and I wanted him to hang high. However, I had always tried to live my faith with integrity, and my conscience was calling me to forgive my enemy. I realized if I gave myself to that desire for revenge, it would obsess and consume me. So, I promised to cooperate with whatever could move my heart from fury to forgiveness.
One year to the minute after the kidnapper had taken Susie, he called me at my home in Michigan. He was calling to taunt me. Even though he was smug and nasty, to my own real surprise, I was filled with genuine concern and compassion, which thwarted his intention to rile me up and then hang up.
During that past year, I had worked diligently to come to a healthier attitude than rage and revenge. I reminded myself that, however I felt about this person, in the eyes of the God I believed in, he was just as precious as my little girl. So I asked him what I could do for him; he broke down and sobbed heavily. Our middle-of-the-night conversation lasted for 80 minutes. When the call finally ended, I was left hanging on to a silent phone.
The kidnapper inadvertently gave enough information to be identified. Eventually he was arrested, and irrefutable evidence was found to charge him with kidnap/murder, a capital crime with a sentence of the death penalty.
But I realized that to kill him in Susie’s name would not restore her life; it would only make another victim and another grieving family.
So, I asked the prosecutor for the alternative sentence of mandatory life without parole. Only when he was offered that was he willing to confess to the murders of a 19-year-old and three children, including Susie.
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Hello, Dan!! <br />Just about two weeks ago, on June 25th, we remembered the 38th anniversary of Susie's disappearance. If she were still alive, she'd be 45 years old, but I still think of her as a 7-year-old. <br />As only God can orchestrate, I now live on a ranch in Montana, only a 10-minute drive from where we had camped during that fateful vacation in June of '73. A few years ago, during our Montana "Journey of Hope..From Violence to Healing", we planted a Mountain Ash tree in the same spot where Susie had been taken from us. We always try to plant a tree during our Journeys, but I think that the planting of Susie's tree is the first time we were ever able to do so at the actual crime site; so far, it has survived Montana's winters and is still growing well. The park ranger keeps an eye on it for me when I can't get there, and insures it gets the water it needs during our drought times. <br /> <br />God has been incredibly, and so typically, faithful to redeem Susie's suffering and death during the almost two-week period of her captivity. Not only have I been blessed to be invited to speak all over the world, but more importantly, innumerable persons have come to understand the possibility of forgiveness even in the most dire circumstances. Also with that, the healing, freeing power forgiveness gives, making it well worth the hard work and daily, diligent discipline it requires, not to mention the considerable embellishment and enrichment to our relationship with God! <br /> <br />As you already know, the version printed in "YES Magazine", is much condensed from the actual experience and my spiritual journey, but I am honored that you chose to use it on this blog. It's so inspiring and encouraging that you're still "in the trenches", Dan, working to help creat God's Peaceable Commonwealth! Many Blessings on all you do. <br />Love, Marietta